Attached to Grayson

Mom confession: I am attached to my baby.

I’m sure many parents can relate to this. I just figured it would get easier to leave him after the first month. However, it seems to be the complete opposite. I’m more attached than ever.

It is to the point where I don’t want to lay him down for naps, because that would mean I won’t be with him. For the first two months, I allowed him to take naps on my chest. I could never get anything done, but I enjoyed his cuddles too much to care. Sorry hubs! We have now transitioned to naps throughout the day and while it’s nice to get stuff done around the house, I have major separation anxiety after putting him down. Even though he is sound asleep, I fear he still needs me. I lay him down and find myself looking at videos and pictures of him. Bedtime is the absolute worse. My eyes are glued to his monitor. Our room is connected to his nursery and we sleep with that door open…but this isn’t close enough!

Getting out of the house for girls night is torture for me. I always enjoy my time once I’m out, but I constantly have to be checking to see if the hubs needs something. Having my messages go through to my watch is a blessing and a curse. Every vibrate gives me a mini panic attack. I usually open the message to find a cute picture update. My hubs has been encouraging me to get out more, but I still don’t feel ready to leave him for longer than an hour or so.

Does this get easier? I am curious if any of y’all have any suggestions?

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14 Comments

  1. I completely relate to this. My daughter turns one in two days and still feel like this. I think it has gotten A LITTLE bit better the past few months, but I still have a hard time. I worry about absolutely everything. I am interested in suggestions as well!

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  2. Honestly, it’s taken me 2 years to get to the point of being ok leaving my son…and enjoying it! I used to dread being apart from him and it made me feel anxious and worried when we were apart, so I think that it’s normal that some of us, as mothers, feel this way. I wonder if it’s a personality thing because I know other women who love getting away and don’t want to have to hold their sleeping babies, while I was totally the opposite. Interesting to think how different we all are, and how different our babies are too!

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  3. It is hard to leave them, but it gets better. I would suggest challenging yourself to wait a certain increment of time before checking on him during a nap. When they’re little, ten minutes to fifteen minutes seems manageable. Try to keep yourself busy during that time and see what you can accomplish. My little guy is about to be a year old and since he was ten months old, I could confidently lay him down for a nap and wait until he fussed to check on him. Before then, I’d check every ten or fifteen minutes. I wasn’t used to a baby napping on their own because my 3 yo would only sleep on me as a baby. It was an adjustment. Good luck. If these feelings are interfering with your every day functioning, I’d say something to your doctor to see if postpartum anxiety may be an underlying cause. Gotta take care of momma so she can take care of baby! Best of luck! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You do need to give yourself time. I remember my first girls day out after having my first kid was so hard on me! I was a nervous wreck and needed updates from my family. Give yourself grace mama, you have so much love for him and it’s something you can’t just turn down!

    Liked by 1 person

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